No Regrets

For once, this isn't inspiration, these aren't my thoughts, or ideas, they feel foreigned and borrowed though I watch my fingers type these words. It will not be in collected stanzas, it'll be a poorly organized rant. That, is what I do, I rant.

I hate having free time, so I clutter my life with sweet nothings, and useless obsessions. They serve their purpose taking up most of my time, and busying my life with absolutely nothinhg. When my life finds a gap, I can only do one single thing, think. Its not vague, shallow thoughts, casualities of hormone filled adolescents, but decisions, considerations. I think in metaphors, I challenge the existence of things, to see if any of it truly matters. Thinking for me is a dangerous hobby. One thing I do often is look back, contemplate on my past, and linger on forever. It makes me see that I've done things wrong, that things could've been done so much differently, and at the end of the day I am one flawed, and fucked up kid.

Times like these I realize that I live tied to many regrets.


the way we live, the way we die, what a tragedy, im so terrified. daydreamers, please wake up, we cant sleep no more
-andrew hurley :D

Im Not One For Love Songs

I held forever in hand
I saw the stars in your eyes
And on your lips I tasted
Summer and winter
Life and death
Loss and recognition
Anything that had ever meant a thing
It was all compacted into
One perfect being
One single human
To you this was a child's game
In your eyes I was a rookie.
In mine, you found perfection.
I miss exactitude.


****

Listen to the song A Quick Little Fight by Armor For Sleep

Its one of my favorite songs right now, its beautiful. AFS is amazing. Really. Love them.

Thanks to anyone who is following, commenting, and reading. You guys are amazing :D

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I feel like talking to someone, so I will. Lately I've felt out of place, and im not sure why. Everything that was missing, I've gotten back, but it still all feels wrong. I only find my own little corner when I write, or when im drowning myself in music. I don't know what's up.

Im venting now. Thanks.

Disconect The Dots

I knoen I haven't been around often, and im sorry for that.

*******

Im not a hopeless romantic, and neither are you.
We are simply hopeless.
The night skies blend with the moon to count the lies we've told.
Numbers much too high for even our well developed ears.
I want to know if this is your tomorrow.
Because this isn't forever.
Everything has an expiration date
Including you, and I
Then again, for you forever always meant today

A Vampires Lament

Our lives are dreams which have intertwined
A remembrance of a past which never was real
I loved you more than you would ever know
And all you craved for was the ability to feel
Lustful thoughts induced by the moonlight streets
Hand in hand through porous neon city limits
Our lives were only two tangled lies
Who found themselves in the mouths of critics
We wasted our days in search of darkness
Every breath hot, against frozen skin
We wanted to know how to live, at least a moment
And we found love, in a mess of sin.

P.s. If you haven't noticed, usually the titles have nothing to do with what is written.

Congratulations, I Hate You.

Its a song by Alesana
Called 'Congratulations I Hate You'
There's a lot of screaming in it, but I love the message.
Which is something like 'you bitch, you stole my life, you broke up with me, and you tell me you want me to be happy. Ha. Ha. Fuck you'

I really like it.

Here are the lyrics

No one ever said that life was fair
And Im not saying that it should be
So knowing that you are what you want to be and I'm not comes as no surprise
But don't expect me to be happy for you
And don't smile at me and tell me things will work out for me too
I don't want your pity
I hate your pity
Taste your vanity, its sweet bitterness
As you hide behind your veil
(My) I watched (stolen) you steal (hopes and lost dreams) my thoughts
You took (and had to see you smile) them all
As you build your dreams
On my shattered hopes
I'll look back on
A day once loved
And fantasize for tragedy
Swallow your pride
Beg me to make this easier
And listen to my hopeless cries
Suffer alone in emptiness
I lust to see(you swallowed by) the mess thta you(left in your wake)
Disgust lies
Deep within, your empty gaze
Beg me to make this easier
And listen as my hopeless cries
Send stares (send stares) into (into) your mea- (your mea-) ningless (eyes)
My
Even can't describe how I loathe you
For having all the stars
Leaving my eyes to marvel the sky
Knowing it should be mine
Yet its you I see wasting the dream
That only I deserve
Ill tear you face off to see you smile
As you build your dreams
On my shattered hopes
I'll look back on
A day once loved
And fantasize for tragedy
Swallow your pride
Beg me to make this easier
And listen as my hopeless cries
Send stares (send stares) into (into) your mea- (your mea-) ningless
Lies
-Congratulations I Hate You by Alesana

Its Classy, Not Classic

I've seen the truth behind your eyes
Like light and a glimpse of freedom
But your lips weave words into lies
And rip apart all meaning of importance.
I walk to the edge of this window sill
And sit here in silence, away from rationality
And we all know you're dressed to kill
And we all know im your next victim
But I won't try to save myself because I want this
And even for only a moment, I would like to feel
I want to know the touch, the taste, the kiss
Of what its like to cheat your death.

Truth Be Told I Miss You, Truth Be Told Im Lying

The moment you closed the door on your life, and said that you no longer needed me, I realized that no, I never needed you.

Still every moment that I feel a breath, crawling through my skin, I can almost close my eyes, and see you, a perfect smile, so dangerously close.

We were both children, filled with desire, and empty lustful thoughts.

I wanted to know every contour of your lips, you wondered if innocence was only a shallow believer.

We felt no need to for the other, but were both thirsty for the taste of noises and kisses.

I never needed you, but most definitely wanted.

<3


Don't linger on in the past, don't pressure the future, live in the moment
-Carolyn Nicole

Cool Enough To Not Quite See It

“Maybe there is no Heaven. Or maybe this is all pure gibberish- a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found out a way to live out there where the real winds blow- to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whiskey and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested…”

-RyanRoss http://weresoblogging.com

Our lives become what we make them, in the end we all die, and though our views may differ, this is the life we are living. We can cut back on societies overrated restrictions, and take a breath of fresh air. All we've ever wanted to do, is feel, even fear, even love, even hate, we want to know what it is like to live. We become addicted to the adrenaline shooting through our veins, but does it even matter, that all we do is wrong, and that words only exist to judge, and to kill, when the moment you are found six feet under, no one will remember a thing you ever did.